Guilt Busters: Creating Roadblocks is Good?

There are habits that I've formed over the years that I have chosen to replace with new, more beneficial habits. That's the best way to get rid of a habit you don't like. Don't try to break the habit, create a habit that counteracts and overcomes it.

Here's a simple example that some might find a bit odd-- but it works for myself and my family. We set the table after we eat.

You read that right, your eyes are still working. We don't set the table before we eat, we set it after we eat, prepared for the next day.

What possesses us to do such an odd thing? It's because doing so is a roadblock against clutter for our family.

When my husband or I come home, both of us have gained this habit of putting things on the dining room table. The unfortunate outcome of this is that it makes it a lot easier to simply go in and sit down in front of the TV... where there's not only a clear space, but a distraction from the mess on the table.

But now, since the table is always nicely made up (sans glasses), when either of us go to put something on the table, we are immediately reminded of what the table is for-- it's NOT a catch-all spot!

This simple decision, while odd on the surface, has changed our life for the better. The reminder of the proper use of our table, and how much we have enjoyed that use, helps keep us from a habit that both of us rather wish we'd never formed.

So while technically one habit may be broken, the secret key to doing so was creating a new habit that was a roadblock to the old habit.

Be creative in creating roadblocks for yourself. Don't let what other people might think of you get in the way of creating habits that aid you in creating the life and environment you want. I mean, who sets the table after they eat and lets their dishes sit out all day?

I do. And if others think it's crazy, that's okay with me. Because I'm happier setting the table after I eat than I am with a cluttered, unusable dining room table.

And isn't that what it's all about, being happy?












~ Livin' the Rhythm with Kimberly Weston

When It's All Just Too Much

So you have lots of great ideas banging around in your head now.

You need to clean the kitchen each day. Do Simpleology. Meditate. Take your kids to school. Pick them up...

Oh boy. How did you end up here?

Well, remember that we're working on creating a habit per month. So what about these other habits that are so important, so meaningful, so valuable?

This is one of the things that the Dream-a-Dream box is for. Go in the other room. Write down the habit you want to form. Put it into the Dream-a-Dream box.

When you write it down, though, don't just write down the habit: "Make my bed every morning."

Instead, write down the habit as if it's already created, and what it feels like when you imagine it already created: "I love it that I make my bed each morning. When I walk up into my room at bed time, it always looks so lovely, so organized, and so welcoming. It feels so good to know that my bed is made before I get into it, and that if someone stops by today, they can visit my bedroom and I will feel proud of myself and my room."

Keep it positive, don't include things like, "I won't be embarrassed," instead make it, "I feel proud." Take the fear, and turn it around into its opposite. "I won't be fat" becomes "I look slender and strong."

Then when it comes time to begin creating your next habit, go to your Dream-a-Dream box. Find the dream you feel is highest priority, and turn that one into habit.

One step at a time. One day at a time.

Now that you have a Dream-a-Dream box, you know that it's just a matter of time before each of these habits you want to form become reality for you. No longer is it overwhelming, but now it's just a matter of time. You don't have to do it today-- and you probably wouldn't even if you tried to force yourself to.

So let it come in its own time. Prioritize and put the rest of your dreams back. They'll keep. :)



~ Livin' the Rhythm with Kimberly Weston

The First Rhythm: Charting Your Menses

It comes every month, for most of us. We're all familiar with it. The bleeding, the cramping (for some), the discomfort.

But are we really all that familiar with it? There's more to it than these discomforts. More than the painful symptoms, the irritability, the mood swings, and the rest of the commonly associated discomforts.

If you're familiar with these, but not the benefits, then it's time to sit yourself down and honestly, openly revisit your monthly. It's time to start charting it. Because there are benefits, and it's these that we wish to begin to not only explore, but to make copious use of.

Also, we want to start supplementing in such a way that we are supported in having fewer negatives. Wouldn't that be nice? Less irritability, less stress, less cramping, better sleep. Imagine that, who would have thought these things were possible?

I mean, we're women, aren't we just supposed to endure, no matter what it takes? Aren't we supposed to just live with it, and struggle through like a trooper?

I'm not sure where this idea comes from, and I'm not going to start guessing (that's a controversy for a different blog, were I to start one). However, I do know that it's not an appropriate or worthwhile idea.

There's no reason whatsoever why we should force ourselves to just struggle through when there are not only options for supplementation to help us ease our symptoms, but there are ways of living that are actually *gasp* in harmony with our feminine cycles!

But the first step, the first habit for us to create is for us to chart our cycle. This is as important as Simpleology-- Simpleology only more important as far as this blog goes because it supports us in charting our Menses!

Why do I think charting is so very important?

Because of the differences it can, and probably will, make in our lives. Here are some points to ponder:

Did you know that at certain times of the month....

• you are more organized than others?
• you are literally physically stronger?
• your body purposely and with intent tries to put on weight?
• your body purposely and happily loses weight?
• you sleep better?
• your mood deteriorates rapidly?

Some of these, I'm sure you knew. But these are only a few of the changes going on constantly in your body and your mood and your mindset. I list these to illustrate the fact that we often work against, rather than with, the natural rhythms of our monthly hormonal changes.

Our body changes can be tracked. Once we begin to track them, the changes that happen are amazing. Once we know when to tell ourselves, "Not to worry, this is just hormones. This too, shall pass," and we know when to expect our bodies to be weaker and when stronger... then we can change the way we live our lives.

We can also change the way we feel about ourselves.

Our Menses can be a gift, rather than a curse.

What I personally chart:

• Date
• Cycle day (1-28)
• Weight
• Bloat (location, amount)
• Mood (irritable, positive, unpredictable, moody, etc.)
• Focus (how well am I focusing on tasks?)
• Organization (am I feeling like organizing, or just maintaining?)
• Stress Level
• Energy Level
• Pain (degree and location)
• Hunger Level
• Strength
• Sleep (amount and quality)
• Libido
• Sexual Responsiveness
• Meditation (amount and focus/quantity)

Once I know these things, and have knowledge of the length of my cycle (normally it's 28 days, some vary, however), then I can begin to make changes accordingly.

So this is the first step. Once you have this particular step down, and you have a few months' worth of charting under your belt, you'll start to see a real pattern. You'll begin to understand how your hormones are effecting your day to day life.

You cannot make changes around your cycle until you really, truly, understand and know your cycle. If you don't really know your cycle, and how you feel at each day of your cycle, then how can you possibly really know yourself?

A small note on your cycle days:

• Day 1 = First day of your Menses/Period
• Day 5 = Beginning of the weaker, weight loss period
• Day 19 = Beginning of the stronger, but usually hungrier stage

So, for now, chart your cycle. If you haven't started your period recently, then just begin charting without the "cycle day" notation filled in just yet. Even if it's a couple of weeks before you have a Period, you still have the beginning of a pattern established.

No excuses. Start today, no matter whether you know when to expect your next Period or not.

Change your life by getting to know yourself and your body. It has more impact on you than many of us wish to admit-- and than nearly any of us have been taught to acknowledge.

Well, it's past time to not only acknowledge our bodies and their rhythms, but time to turn them into our dancing partners, and Live the Rhythm every day of our lives.



~ Livin' the Rhythm with Kimberly Weston

The Single Most Important Change

If I could convince you to make one single change, it would be this one.

If you asked me, "Kimberly, how can I change my life, right now, for the better. I want a lasting, real change, that will change everything else, too," then this is what it would be.

If you asked me, "How can I overcome overwhelm, create new habits, eliminate much (or even all) of my daily guilt about not getting things done, and make my life easier?" Then I would tell you to do this, and that these things would flow from it.

But then you'd tell me this before you even heard me out:

• "I probably can't afford it." I have news for you. It's free.
• "I don't have time." News there, too. It takes 15 minutes a day. If you make time for it, you'll free up most of the rest of your day, too. So making time for this, makes time for other, more fun things.
• "Nothing can really change your life that way." Nothing that motivates you and then leaves you to your own devices can. But this is an ongoing support for your entire life.

I have seen so many things advertising that they have "The Secret that The Secret™ didn't tell you," and yet none of them have pointed to this program. I wish I didn't have to get in the "The Secret to The Secret™" line, but let's face it, none of these programs have worked for me. I suspect that, if you've tried them, they didn't work for you, either.

So, I want you to succeed. I'm giving out a lot of tips and tricks that will improve your life if you practice them on a consistent basis.

But you've learned a lot that would help you, if you practiced it on a consistent basis, haven't you? You've been inspired before, have you not?

Thought to yourself, "Oh wow! That's amazing. I'm going to do that!" and a week or so later, you've lost that Git-Up-And-Go attitude and you're feeling like it's too much work or not enough time or...

For some reason, it's just not happening.

This is a familiar feeling for almost all of us. And that guilt that follows not following through is even more familiar. The nagging sense of something undone. The nagging feeling that we should be doing more. We should be accomplishing something...

Something. Something more. Something better. Something...

The free program that I'm talking about here will almost certainly eliminate that nagging feeling if you make the decision to put this single habit FIRST on your list of what to turn into a lifetime habit.

I have experienced the life change that comes from daily practice of this action habit. This one habit is the fulcrum upon which your ability to create other new habits hinges. It's the foundation for everything that I'm teaching you. The foundation for creating and maintaining ANY habit or motivational action that ANYONE teaches you.

I don't get paid when you join Simpleology. I don't get paid if you decide later to get any of his other programs.

My recommendation of this program to you is without any strings attached. I simply, truly, sincerely believe in it. I KNOW it WILL change your life if you will dedicate yourself to this one thing first.

It will bring the rest of your life together.

It's called Simpleology by Mark Joyner.

What it has done for me, and I believe with absolute certainty it will do for you if you make it into a habit:

• Eliminated "I didn't get enough done today" guilt that considerably adds to overwhelm
• Helped me create other new habits that have changed my life and helped keep my house clean
• Improved my ability with money
• Kept me consistent in my diet and exercise plan
• Kept me consistent in disciplining Kira
• Assisted me in a consistent practice of visualization and meditation
• Freed up time in my day for guiltless pleasure passtimes
  

In fact, I can't really record all the ways that it has changed and improved my life. Because to do so, I would have to list all the benefits of a regular exercise program, of eating well, of a regular meditation practice, of improvements in money management, etc.

So as you can see, this is the ONE thing you can do, starting today, for FREE, that has the potential to create exponential changes in your life.

I want you to succeed. I want to give you tips that you can come back to a month from now and implement, with an ongoing, lifetime success rate.

This is the foundation. With this, you can create the success you want in creating new habits, be they habits with money, habits of cleaning house, habits with your children, going to school and actually following through on it... whatever.

If you take absolutely nothing away from this blog, please take this. If you do so, then I have succeeded in my ultimate goal:

To give you the tools to change your own life for the better.

Because only YOU can change your life. And the only true way to do that is to be consistent enough to create new habits. Humans require slow changes if they're going to stick. Daily, consistent application of this single program will lay the foundation for all of the changes you want in your life.

www.simpleology.com

Just do it.

~ Livin' the Rhythm with Kimberly Weston

Let's talk Overwhelm

The thought manifests as the word; The word manifests as the deed;
The deed develops into habit; And habit hardens into character.
So watch the thought and its ways with care,
And let it spring from love born out of concern for all beings.
– Buddha

___________________________

Today, I'd like to address this issue of Overwhelm. How often I've stood facing my kitchen, and just didn't want to deal with it. I wanted a clean house, but I didn't want to face the fact of getting to the clean house.

Having a clean house = awesome idea

Cleaning my house = maybe tomorrow, if I have time, if I have energy, if...

And then, of course, there was the dirty bathroom. And there was the dirty living room. The unmade bed and the socks on the floor.

When you get right down to it, too, even if I clean the kitchen today, it'll just be trashed again by tomorrow, won't it? So what's the point?

Here's step 1 of the first problem with overwhelm. I want to be at the end. I don't want to get to the end, I want to be there. Preferably yesterday. And the fact is, I can't get there yesterday. So I get bummed out and just walk away from it. I put it off until later, not because I'm lazy, but because it's simply too big of a chore.

And you know what? That's usually true. It usually is too big of a chore to finish in the time I have at the moment.

But every day, it gets worse. That's the secret little problem behind the feeling that I will do it later because it'll only get messy again tomorrow. It doesn't get messy again-- it gets messier. And thus it builds up and becomes a problem.

I end up with no clean dishes, no counter space, a messy floor (why clean the floor when the rest is dirty?), and a terrible dread of going into the kitchen or having anyone over.

Well, what did I do, then? I made a single decision. Rather than cleaning my kitchen in one day, I decided to maintain the kitchen where it is. When I make breakfast this morning, I clean up after breakfast.

Plus two or three other dishes.

That's it.

And I made that into a daily habit. The point here was to establish a habit of cleaning up after myself in that one room. And by the time I had established that habit, I had also cleaned the kitchen.

You see, if you want to fight overwhelm, one of the best ways to do it is to make incremental changes. Don't get caught in the trap of thinking that something's only worth doing if you do it all at once.

This leads to "forget it, I'll do it later."

Tonight, when you make dinner, clean up after tonight's dinner. Wash two more dishes, or just clean the floor. That's it, that's all the time you need to take today.

Because:

• You don't have time to waste on cleaning the whole dang thing right now
• You're not going to do it when you look at it and feel like it's all too much
• It's easy to wash two dishes or to just quickly sweep the floor
• It waited this long, you know it isn't going anywhere, so it's not like you won't get another chance

So start building the habit of cleaning up after meals. That's it, that's all. Build a single habit today.

I remember in Al-Anon, which I attended in my youth, they had a saying, "Progress, not perfection." I altered that, and my motto became, "Progress is perfection."

Imagine this. If you go along the way you're going, you'll just keep having a dirty house. Nothing will really be different. Life will be the same as it is. But if you build one habit at a time, in 6 months, you'll have a different house. That's six rooms that you'll have and keep clean.

What do you think, a 6 rooms clean habit, or the same ol' thing?

Progress is perfection, my friend. Don't reach for the stars, just reach for the next step towards them. Then one day, you'll wake up and realize you've reached the stars. And how did you get there? You didn't jump right up into the sky from the ground. You climbed there, one new habit at a time.

I'm afraid that you're not going to wake up tomorrow, clean your whole house, and keep it that way for the rest of your life.

You have to get to the point where you're that kind of housekeeper by forming habits. Because at the end of the day, your habits will win over your desires. I guarantee it.

And how can I guarantee that?

Because humans are habitual creatures. Our minds very much desire to go on auto-pilot. So if you want to change the direction your house takes, change where your auto-pilot is directed to go.

Make auto-pilot take you into the realm of cleaning up after your meal and cleaning two other things, too. Eventually, you'll run out of extra things to clean up. That's the day that you've arrived at a brand new habit.

Your life experience is rooted in your habits. Habits of thought, and habits of action.

If you have and keep dirty habits, you have a dirty house.

Change your habits, change your life.


_______________________________


We'll talk more about overwhelm later. It's a huge issue for most people!

~ Livin' the Rhythm with Kimberly Weston